Perfectionism. Can we have it all?

It’s a phrase we’ve all heard… “You can have it all!” But can we? Or is it a case of ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’?

Perfectionism comes into play here. A common assumption when I say I’m a perfectionist is that it’s funny and it’s about wanting all the teaspoons facing the same way in the drawer or that I have a super tidy house, or that I cook 100% from scratch daily to ensure optimum nutrition, that my children’s school uniforms are always pristine and no birthday is ever forgotten. Well, sadly I can’t say that any of those are true! In reality, living with perfectionism is a daily battle. It means feeling unable to make decisions just in case I choose the wrong option, and the inevitable guilt or shame that follows. It’s about wanting to complete tasks to gain the satisfaction of ticking them off the list but not ever getting to the end in case the conclusion isn’t perfect. It’s about taking months to think of a name for my new business because ‘what if I think of something better next month?’ It’s about living too much in the future and the ‘what ifs’ that I see in every little scenario/decision/thought. It’s hard work.

My common sense and the logical side of me knows perfection is non-existent. I know it’s therefore unachievable. I know I’m not always going to get things right as a parent, as a wife, as a friend. But the worst thing is when this built-in need stops me from having a go at life. It nurtures a sense of dissatisfaction that can’t be pinned to a cause. It keeps me stuck in a place that I know how to move on from and most of the time it’s unconscious.

Can I end this blog post here? Is it long enough? Do I keep writing even though I feel it’s finished? What if I think of something at a later date that I could have said? Then it’ll be too late and that’s a waste. It won’t feel done. Will I ever be satisfied that something is complete? Finished? Good enough?

You see? It’s endless. And all I can do is keep working on being in the present moment. Daily mindfulness and catching when the curse of perfectionism is stopping me moving forwards. That’s all I can do and that’s good enough.